It's Fate, Dude
by RainbowDiamonds
Summary: Kendall Knight could go anywhere for college, but he's staying in his hometown because he can't bear to leave behind memories of his long-gone best friends. And is it really that crazy to think they might come visit one day? Probably. But fate surprises him with something even better. Hints of slash, Kames, and Cargan.


A/N—Reminder that I don't own these characters and that all credit goes to the creators of "Big Time Rush."

So this is for the Plot Adoption Forum's "College" challenge. It's so hard for me to write something short, so I'm sorry that it's long for a one-shot but I'm just proud of myself for keeping it to one chapter! Hope you guys enjoy, and thanks to** winterschild11** for letting me know about the challenge! I should be back to posting "Magic" later this week. Special thanks to my beta for giving me feedback and ideas, she made this story better. :)

* * *

The key he'd been given at check-in actually worked and Kendall Knight voiced a soft "Hallelujah!"; he'd been half-scared it wouldn't and that he'd be forced to lug his two suitcases and overlarge gym bag all the way back across campus. The door swung open easily, though, permitting him to move through with the gym bag on his shoulder so he could drop that before reaching back for the luggage.

Once everything was inside, he closed the door and spun to study his new living space. The dorm was larger than he'd expected, boasting not one but two sets of bunk beds, and two empty desks. He let out a groan because he'd already been dreading one roommate—now it looked as if he'd have three.

"Great," he muttered. "Just what I need, more guys to fight with."

It wasn't that Kendall _enjoyed_ fighting. In fact, the opposite was true and it usually fell to Kendall to break up fights among classmates or teammates. The more dudes he was forced to live with in a small space, the more fighting he imagined would occur that he'd end up having to get in the middle of.

Well, it appeared that so far no one else had moved in, and that at least was a welcome stroke of luck. Next on the agenda was choosing which bunk he wanted. As Kendall was tall enough to easily climb onto a top one, he decided to snag one of those, and tossed his gym bag onto the upper mattress closest to the window. Too bad if anyone else wanted it.

The room was stuffy from months of disuse, so he raised the blinds and opened the window before sinking onto one of the desk chairs and sliding his phone out from the deep pocket of his jeans. A few clicks had his mother's concerned voice in his ear.

"Did you make it? Are you there?"

"I'm here, stop worrying," he chuckled, secretly glad that his mother cared enough to do such things. "I checked in and just got to my dorm."

"How is it? What's your roommate like? Or is he standing right there and you can't talk?"

"No, so far it's just me, and it looks like I'm gonna have _three _roommates."

"Oh, that's wonderful! You won't be lonely!"

"Mom, when am I ever lonely?"

"No man is an island, Kendall. It's good to have friends."

The last comment sent a twinge of longing through Kendall; he _knew_ what it was like to have friends, and not just classmates or acquaintances or teammates but actual, honest-to-God friends who would die for you. It had been years since Kendall had experienced that. "I know, Mom."

"You're starting the most exciting time of your life, I just know you'll meet someone special this year. Maybe even one of your roommates, hmm?"

Kendall rolled his eyes. "The odds that I'll end up with a gay roommate are very slim, don't get your hopes up. And even if I did, there's no guarantee we'll like each other. I hate most people anyway."

"That's because you don't let anyone get close to you. I'm telling you, Kendall, there are good people out there. You just have to open your eyes. _ And_ your heart. Let someone in!"

He'd done that, years before. For eight years his heart had been full with friendships he could never get back, and in the time since he lost them he'd never found anyone who measured up to his memories of the boys who had made up his world back then. His mother was sure it was a conscious effort on his part to keep those memories alive, but Kendall could truly say he'd never met anyone like the three buddies he'd been forced to say goodbye to at the age of thirteen. "Are you done? I've got enough to deal with just getting used to life away from home. This isn't going to be easy, Mom."

"Fine, fine, I'll back off. And I know it won't be, which is why I'm encouraging you to make friends! But okay, let's focus on getting through today. Do you need me to bring anything for you this weekend when we visit? Bedding, food, laundry money?"

"I'm probably never going to turn away food and laundry money," Kendall chuckled. "But I've got bedding covered, they said at check-in I can buy a set of sheets and pillowcases. I think they sell blankets, too."

"I can bring extra. What size is the bed?"

"Mom, really, it's fine. I'll be okay. I'm not worried about that sort of thing. It's more..."

"What? Just tell me what you need."

"It's just weird, you know? Not having you and Katie around."

"Aww, sweetie, I know. Your sister's already said she misses you twice."

"Wow, really? She'd never say that if I was around to hear."

"You weren't, so I guess she figured it was okay," his mother laughed. "But we miss you, too. I know you only left this morning, but it feels like it's been ages. Was the bus ride horrible?"

"Nah, it wasn't so bad. Listen, can I call you later? I haven't eaten since breakfast and I'm starving. I'm gonna go check out the cafeteria."

"Do you have enough money? Let me know how much you'll need each week."

"It's fine, Mom, the scholarship included a meal card for campus. So as long as I eat here, I get three solid meals a day. We talked about this, remember?"

"I know, I just don't want you to have to eat there all the time. I know you, and you'll be craving pizza and tacos by tomorrow."

"Probably," Kendall smirked. "But for today, I'm good. Give Katie a hug for me."

"I will. I mean it, Kendall, call me if you need anything. And we'll see you Saturday for orientation!"

"Okay. Love you, Mom."

"I love you too, honey. Take care."

"I will. And _you_ call _me_ if you need anything! Bye."

Two seconds after his mother's voice was gone, emptiness flooded Kendall. Sure, he was used to having his own room, but he sure as hell wasn't used to daily life without his mother and sister. It had been hard to leave them, mostly because he tended to look out for them and would worry. It was almost funny that his mother was so worried about him yet he was fighting the same thing on his end.

"They'll be fine, Kendall," he said under his breath. "You can't be there every second."

To distract himself, he focused on unpacking. There were two small dressers against a wall, so he claimed half of one for his clothes. He hung up a few things in the wide closet, making sure his souvenir jerseys weren't too wrinkled, and then stored his hockey gear on a shelf above those. What was still left in the suitcases were toiletries and a few keepsakes from home that he hadn't been able to live without.

Would his new roommates laugh at him for putting up a family portrait? Possibly. It wasn't worth the risk, so Kendall used the putty he'd brought along to affix the small framed photo to the point where two walls met, just above the place his pillow would soon reside in. It wasn't that he was ashamed, he just didn't want to give anyone ammunition to start anything. He hopped back down to the floor and pulled out the other framed picture he'd brought along, and as always it filled him with longing.

The desk chair provided him a steady surface to sink down on again, and Kendall stared at the photo with a deep sigh. Five years since the day this was taken, give or take a few weeks. None of them had known then what was to come; their smiles were genuine, bursting with pride over the hockey championship they'd won as part of the same team. Kendall had been captain, James co-captain, and Carlos the best goaltender Kendall had seen to this day. Then there was Logan, who had only joined the hockey team in order to avoid being left out, but he'd proven to be faster than any of them with his smaller body. Together they'd formed the nucleus of a team that was victorious year after year, at least until Kendall was the only one remaining on it. Sadly the team had never again reached the status of unstoppable that it was when all four of them played together, though Kendall himself was still talented enough to land a scholarship to the local university.

His sister had once asked him why he wanted to stay. "You could play anywhere, dude. See the world. You could even go straight to the NHL with your talent. Why do you want to stay here?" Kendall had never given her a straight answer because he didn't want to admit the truth even to himself: so deep down that he was only vaguely aware of it, there was a hope that they'd all come back. None of his three best friends had wanted to move away, and as pathetic as it made Kendall feel, he liked to believe they all still missed him and each other as much as he missed them. Was it so weird to think they might one day come back?

Yes. It _was_ weird. They'd all gone separate ways and probably didn't even remember him or the incredible adventures they'd shared as children. They'd moved on, found girlfriends, and would think it sad (if not creepy) that Kendall still held on to the memories as if they were only days old. Kendall had never learned how to let go, though, and so even now the hope was still alive.

He ran his thumb over the glass as if he'd be able to feel Logan's tiny face through it. Logan had been the scaredy-cat among them, never wanting to break rules or get in trouble. Logan's biggest fear, though? Being left out or left behind. For this reason, he'd gone along with their stupid ideas (after attempting to talk them out of each one, of course) and even helped plan most of them. Logan was _smart_, way smarter than the rest of them combined. Kendall wondered what Logan would be like today. Making mind-blowing scientific discoveries? Starting college? Knowing him, he'd graduated early and was already into his third year or something crazy like that. Without the rest of them to hold Logan back, he'd probably soared into academic stardom and was doing cutting-edge research somewhere.

For Kendall, Logan had always been the voice of reason. Kendall never admitted it back then, but in truth Logan had talked him out of more than one crazy scheme. And when he was dealing with the heartbreak of his parents' divorce, who had explained to him in practical detail why Kendall and his family would be better off without Dad around? Logan. Who had helped him pass numerous exams he would've undoubtedly failed on his own? Logan. Who was always the first to admit (though only when they were alone) that he was scared? Logan. And it was Kendall's job to help Logan overcome those fears.

_At least it was. He's probably got some new best friend now._

The thought made Kendall sad, so he moved on.

Next to Logan in the photo was Carlos, bringing an immediate smile to Kendall's face. There was really no way to think about Carlos without smiling or laughing, because that's what Carlos did ninety percent of the time. Carlos was fearless on the ice, never hesitating to put himself in harm's way to stop a puck flying at him. That spread into every area of Carlos' life, so much that the group had been forced to rescue him time and time again when his mouth got him in trouble. Carlos was actually shorter than Logan, but it never felt that way because he always seemed larger than life and was such a powerhouse of energy. At some point he'd taken to wearing the hockey helmet everywhere so that he didn't have to worry about getting hurt when the urge to crash into things overcame him. The best thing about Carlos was that he never questioned any of Kendall's ideas, no matter how idiotic they were. Instead, he placed himself at Kendall's side and refused to waver, even when Logan went into long, detailed explanations about why the ideas were bad. Looking back now, Kendall supposed there'd been a little hero worship going on that he'd enjoyed and perhaps taken advantage of, but Carlos didn't seem to mind it.

And what would Carlos be like today, at the age of eighteen? Would he still be as crazy as he'd been as a kid, or would he have calmed down without the encouragement of three friends who accepted him for what he was? Kendall remembered Carlos' mother constantly saying things like "Carlitos, quiet down!" or "Carlitos, sit still!" With his friends, Carlos was free to do and say as he pleased, and his loyalty to them sometimes got him into trouble but they were always there to rescue him, so it was okay. Had the free spirit been beaten out of him over the years?

Kendall hoped not.

And then there was James. Looking at James brought forth an entire cluster of emotions that ran the spectrum. Logan had always assumed he was Kendall's best friend, and when pressed to answer that question (by James, most often) he'd fielded it with "You're all my best friends." It wasn't a lie. And yet...

With James there was something...deeper. Perhaps because James' father wasn't the greatest dad in the world either, they'd had long talks. James hated talking about his feelings, but when he and Kendall were alone, that seemed to be much of what they discussed. It was Logan who reminded Kendall that the divorce was for the best; it was James who said things like "I know how you feel, my dad's a dick, too. It's okay to hate him sometimes even though you love him." James had understood him on a deeper emotional level that perhaps the other two weren't capable of quite yet. For some reason, Kendall and James had matured rapidly in that regard and it drew them closer. There had been more than one secret sleepover between Kendall and James that they agreed to lie about because...well, Kendall wasn't really sure why. He just knew that he'd needed time alone with James and wanted to do it in a way that wouldn't hurt the feelings of their friends. They'd both made up stories about visiting family for the night, when in actuality they camped out in James' backyard in a tent and talked for most of the time. If Kendall was honest, there had been plenty of tears between them as well. When Kendall cried, James hugged him. When James cried, Kendall did the same. He felt safe with James in a way he didn't with anyone else, and some nights when he couldn't sleep he _still_ talked to James.

Only now, James couldn't hear him. Like the others, James had moved away to leave him alone. And though he missed all of them dreadfully, it was James that he still cried over sometimes because James was...

Was...

Fierce. Loyal. Trustworthy. Devoted. A constant force in Kendall's life, a rock to lean on when things got too tough to face. He was a shoulder to cry on, a friend to listen, a promise that no matter how much it hurt now, he would be okay because he wasn't alone.

Except that he was.

Within two weeks of that photo being taken, Kendall's life had been torn apart by separate circumstances that all conspired to steal the joy from everything at once. Carlos' father was promoted to the sheriff's department, and just like that the family moved to the county seat some twenty miles away. Two days after that, Logan's father was killed in a car crash that left him and his mother so devastated that they went to live with family on the west coast. Suddenly it was just him and James, and they spent most of the following week practically joined at the hip until they too were ripped apart by the news that his mother had been placed in charge of a company branch four hundred miles away. No matter how many times he'd begged his parents to let him move in with the Knights, James was gone in a matter of days.

Kendall was alone.

Five years later, the emptiness hadn't receded, at least not enough for him to move on and make new friends. Someone else was put into place as co-captain and he was decent at it, but he just wasn't on that same level mentally with Kendall that James had been. Their relief goalie was adequate, unlike Carlos, who had been a brick wall on the net. Nobody was as fast as Logan. Kendall became the star player on the team, throwing all of his grief and loneliness into hockey so that it got him where he was today: at the local university with a full scholarship that promised him four years of paid schooling in the city he longed to be in most.

He knew his mother was right—it wasn't healthy to remain an island and not let people in. She just didn't get it, though. Nobody compared to them. Nobody was as funny as Carlos, as smart as Logan, as strong yet compassionate as James.

Maybe this year would be different. Maybe Kendall _would_ meet someone special.

For now, though, he was content to hold on to the memories as tightly as he could. He placed the framed photo on the corner of a desk so that he'd see it every time he walked into the room. Let his new roommates ask about it. Let them roll their eyes. He didn't care.

Logan, Carlos, and James were still just as real to him now as they were five years ago.

With that thought in mind, Kendall grabbed his phone and headed to the cafeteria.

* * *

"Yes, Mom, I'm good. I promise. No problems at all with check-in. But I need to hang up so I can unlock the door. Because my hands are full!"

His mother astounded him sometimes with the questions she asked. Why else would he need to hang up in order to unlock a door?

"I love you, too. See you Saturday. Bye."

Letting out a frustrated sigh, Logan Mitchell pocketed his phone while fishing out the key he'd dropped in there earlier. After a click, the door opened and he peeked inside.

Nobody there, as far as he could tell. There were two suitcases peeking out from under one of the bottom bunks, so he wasn't the first here. Logan didn't know how to feel about that.

"Doesn't matter," he mumbled to himself. "You're alone now, just get your stuff inside and get out before they come back."

Logan hated meeting new people. Words and math, science and history, those were the things he understood best. People? Just the thought of having to introduce himself to strangers (especially ones he would be living with in close quarters) set off waves of anxiety in him. He purposely chose the set of bunk beds that hadn't been disturbed yet, lifting his suitcases up onto the lower mattress.

First order of business? Laying claim to a desk.

He knew he'd probably have to share, considering he was rooming with three other people and there were two desks, but he still needed to make sure the desk he chose was the better of the two since he'd be spending most of his time in this room there.

Unless the library on campus stayed open late. He'd have to check the hours. In fact, the library would be his first stop as soon as he could get there. Anticipation filled him at the thought of exploring all of the resources now available to him. What could be better than a fully-stocked and modern library three times the size of the tiny one he'd left behind in Oregon?

_Being here. Nothing beats being back here. I don't even care that they're all gone now; this is where the best years of my life were spent, and this is where I want to be._

Unexpected emotion rose in Logan's chest. His mother had thought it would be a mistake for him to move back here to the place where his father had died, and yes—there _were _memories of sadness mixed in with the others. Mostly, though, this city had been a refuge for him, a place to grow and experience life with the best friends he could ask for. Being back here was soothing in a way nothing else was.

He thought of Kendall, as he often did, and remembered how they'd attempted to keep in touch via snail mail for the first year after he moved away. Kendall would never know how much those letters meant to him or that he'd held on to them and would read them over when anxiety and stress seemed too overwhelming to stand. Logan had read them again on the flight today, and they still were as calming now as they had been then. He never knew why they stopped writing, but assumed it had to do with Kendall moving on and living his own life, making new friends—a task Logan had never mastered.

He was sure Kendall was long gone from this place, probably on some hockey scholarship across the country. Maybe Mrs. Knight was still around, though, and if nothing else he thought she'd agree to catch up over lunch. Did Katie even remember him? She'd been so young back then, only seven when Logan moved away. He wouldn't count on seeing Katie again, but Mrs. Knight...he was pretty sure she'd be happy to see him. She'd been like a mom to the whole gang, him and James and Carlos. How many times had they all stayed over at the Knight place playing video games halfway through the night?

Those were the best of times. Logan knew moving here wouldn't bring any of those times back, but it definitely helped him feel closer to the memories and the friends who had been his world five years ago.

_Shake it off, Logan. Time's wasting, and the library might not even be open a full day before school starts. You can pathetically reminisce later._

It was good advice. With a nod, he turned his attention to the desks. Looked like one had already been claimed by a photograph. That was fine, the empty desk seemed sturdier anyway. And it had one more drawer on the right, which would be good for—

Thought ceased. Logan was frozen, unable to think and on autopilot as his head swung slowly back toward the other desk. He finally stepped closer, eyes squinting, and...

It was. It _was_. No way was that a delusion (or...could it be?), he was staring at a picture of himself and his best friends on the last truly happy day he could remember. His breath stopped on a gasp, hand shaking as he reached out to pick it up.

There was no question. It was real. Someone had been in this room and placed that photo on the desk. Someone who'd kept it all these years, as Logan had kept the letters from Kendall.

_Kendall. Please God, let it be Kendall. Please!_

The frame clattered to the wooden desktop. Tempted to go through the drawers, Logan instead went for the closet. He slid it open to reveal hockey jerseys and let out a moan of disbelief. Looking up, he spied a pair of skates and a stick, the kind he'd held in his hands for eight years.

His knees went weak.

"Kendall," he whispered. It couldn't be anyone else. Logan supposed it could be James or Carlos, but Carlos had moved away before he did. James...

It could be James. Kendall said James had moved away too, but it was possible...

Desperate for an answer, Logan rifled through the drawers until he found clothing. Still impossible to tell, considering James would also wear jeans and t-shirts and socks and boxers. "Dammit, who are you?!"

Logan lifted a hand to cover his eyes, surprised to feel tears spilling over. Of course he'd be ecstatic to see James or Carlos (he'd in fact had moments where he worried that Carlos couldn't make it through school without him), but the thought of seeing Kendall again...the thought of Kendall hugging him and promising him things would be okay...

_Breathe, Logan. Breathe. Think!_

He tilted his head back and inhaled a deep, steadying breath. He was losing it.

Finally feeling like he could function, Logan opened his eyes. His gaze caught on another photo, this one barely visible above the higher bunk in front of him. He saw deep red hair. In the next second he was climbing the side of the beds to see the rest of the picture, and a sob tore free when he recognized the woman posing with two teenaged children.

"Kendall! Oh my god, Kendall! Where are you?"

Where would Kendall be? If he hadn't changed too much, Kendall would either be looking for food or checking out the school's hockey building. After a brief debate, Logan settled on the hockey rink. With Kendall, nothing came before hockey.

Leaving his suitcases unopened, Logan barely remembered to grab the key before sprinting out of the room and down the hall.

* * *

Just as Carlos Garcia's mother was reaching out to pull on one of the entrance doors, it flew open and a body hurled itself out and into her. She crashed back against the wall in surprise.

"What the hell?!" Carlos yelled.

"Sorry! I'm so sorry! Are you okay?"

The offender waited only long enough to hear her say that yes, she was fine, before taking off again.

Angry, Carlos started to give chase.

"Carlos, don't! I'm fine!"

"But that's so rude!" He called out louder toward the body running further away. "Asshole!"

"Sweetie, hush, it's no big deal. Just get inside."

Chest still puffed out in outrage, Carlos reluctantly allowed his mother to steer him into the dorm.

"He'd better not let me catch him alone somewhere," Carlos muttered. "Mama, you okay?"

"Yes, I already told you a thousand times, I'm fine! Now where is number 2J?"

"The lady said it was right up front here, so...ha! Here it is!" Mind successfully distracted to another subject, Carlos momentarily forgot about the rude student and dug for his key. "I hope my roommates are nice!"

"I hope so too, Carlitos. You got it?"

"Yeah, let me just...there we go!" With a push, the door swung inward and Carlos glanced inside. "Hello? Anybody home?"

Silence greeted them.

"Guess I'm the first one here."

His mother trailed after him into the room, reaching back to close the door. "No, baby, I see suitcases on that bed."

"Oh. Well that's cool! I wonder where he went, though? Hey, what if it was that dickbag that knocked you over?"

"Language, Carlos! How many times do I have to tell you? And he didn't knock me over, will you let it go?"

"At least he apologized, I guess." Carlos spun in place, taking everything in. "Look, more suitcases under that bed. Does that mean it's taken?"

"Probably."

"That's okay, I like the top bunk better anyway. I call dibs on this one!" He hefted a suitcase up onto the top bunk, above the bed containing the luggage.

"Sweetheart, why don't you unpack down here? It makes more sense."

"Oh, true. I'm just so excited I can barely think straight!"

"That's why I'm here," his mother chuckled. "Maybe set that on the desk." Carlos swung his suitcase down, barely missing her head in the process as she yelled, "Wait, there's a...don't break the picture!"

She slipped a hand out and grabbed a frame off the desk just before it would've been smashed, tossing it lightly onto the other bed before turning back to Carlos. "Do you need my help?"

"Mama, I think I can open a suitcase on my own."

"Okay, sorry, I just..."

"I know, I know. But I'm a grown man now! Eighteen, can you believe it?! And how insane is it that I got a scholarship?! Me!"

"I'm still proud of you for that, Carlos. I know it wasn't easy for you to come out to your father."

"I was so scared," Carlos nodded, sinking down into a chair. "But I had to or I wouldn't have been eligible for the scholarship. I had to be out and proud. How did you even keep that from him for two years?"

"I wanted you to be ready, and you had to do that in your own time. I'm still grateful that you trusted me with your secret before anyone else."

"You knew I was hiding something," Carlos shrugged. "I can't keep secrets from you."

"Nope," she smiled, scooting back onto the empty desk. "Remember that time you tried to lie to me about ditching class with the boys?"

"Oh man, that was a great day. I don't even regret it."

"So it was worth a month's grounding?"

"Totally, because you still let me go to school and let Logan come over and tutor me. So I was having fun anyway. I just missed out on the sleepovers."

"But you loved those, so we knew it was a good punishment."

"I did." Suddenly uncharacteristically contemplative, Carlos said, "It's weird being back here."

"It is. It's changed so much, especially the downtown area we drove through."

"Yeah. I think I'm gonna walk down to the park tonight. Maybe have dinner at the taco place we used to eat at after hockey games."

His mother's head tilted to study him. "You still miss them like crazy, don't you?"

"Every single day. I was proud of Papi for the promotion, but you know I didn't want to move."

"Well, now you're eighteen and you get to decide where to live. I should've known you'd come back here. I wonder if any of the boys still live in town?"

"Nah, remember Aunt Jenny said everybody moved except the Knights? And no way is Kendall still here, he's probably already been taken in by the NHL. I should look that up."

"Not until you unpack. Do you need my help with that or—"

"Mama, I already said no! I'm not a kid anymore!"

"Okay, I get it. Mr. Big Man on Campus doesn't need help. I guess I'll just leave you to your new life and head back to Aunt Jenny's for the night. Don't forget, your dad's coming in tomorrow night so we can all do orientation Saturday."

"I remember. I know you're gonna call at least three times tonight, but don't freak out if I don't answer. When I go to the park, I'm gonna lose myself in memories and ignore everything else. Maybe I'll even get down to the hockey center. It just feels so good to be back!"

"I know, baby. Come here."

Carlos suffered a tight hug from his mother, who stood up to squeeze him in. "We're gonna miss you so much at home every night."

"I'll FaceTime."

"You'd better. Promise me you'll unpack and find your classes before you take that trip down Memory Lane?"

"Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. I have all weekend to find my classes. I'm gonna use my awesome detective skills."

"Honey, take a map. Please. I know that's what you're here to study, but for my own peace of mind, take a map the first time."

"Fine. I swear."

"Thank you. And here, let's move your suitcase over to this desk so we can put the picture back. You don't want to start off the year on a bad note with your roommate."

"Okay." Carlos obliged by lifting his bag onto the second desk, then his mother picked up the frame and positioned it in the corner.

"Carlitos! Look at this!"

Always up for an interesting discovery, Carlos eagerly followed the direction of her gaze. Staring back at him was himself, along with three other boys he'd never thought to see again. For once, Carlos was struck silent with shock.

"Did you bring this?" his mother asked, already knowing the answer.

"No! Mama, where did you...how..."

"It was here! I moved it but it was already here! Carlos..."

"It's them. It's...one of them. It has to be. Sherlock Holmes always said no matter how crazy the obvious explanation is, it has to be true!"

He was paraphrasing, but she got the point. "Do you think it's Kendall? Would he stay here for college?"

It was hard to say, Carlos thought. It made the most sense for it to be Kendall, and yet...

"I hope it's Logan."

The words slipped out before he was even aware of the thought in his head.

"Logan?"

Carlos blinked a few times. "He...I mean, you know how he helped me in school. Imagine how great it would be if he helped me now, with all my new classes that I'm gonna be struggling with."

Logan had been his savior. As boring as his best friend had been, he'd been something that never changed and Carlos could count on. He'd teased Logan relentlessly for his lack of courage, yet Logan hadn't hated him for it. Or...hadn't seemed to, anyway. When Carlos really needed someone, Logan had always been there. He'd never admit it to his parents, but the thought of being away from them for an entire school year was daunting. If Logan was here to help, though...

"Move."

"What?"

Without waiting for his mother to obey the command, Carlos reached around her for the nearest suitcase that was sitting on the bottom bunk behind her.

"Carlos, don't you dare open that! It doesn't belong to you!"

He ignored the warning and unzipped the sturdy leather, finding exactly what he'd hoped to: the suitcase was stuffed with books about...well, everything. Space, math, history, robotics...the list was endless.

"It's him," he whispered. "Logan's here. Mama, Logan's here! I have to find him!"

"Sweetie, are you sure? Those books could belong to anyone."

"This couldn't." Carlos had found a ruler buried inside one of the pockets, and the sight of it brought back memories of countless evenings in his dining room where Logan had drilled fractions and algebra into his head. The ruler was a blue plastic with fading words stretching across it: _Math is cool because it all adds up._ "This is his. I have to find him!"

"Carlos. Just stay here. This is where he'll come back to, right?"

"I can't wait for that, I gotta go now! I bet he's at the library!"

Before Carlos could tear out of the room, his mother stopped him with a hand on his arm. "Your key."

"Oh. Right. Thanks!"

"I'm going to zip this back up, because I'm still not convinced it belongs to him. And even if it does, you know how much that would annoy him."

"He'll get over it," Carlos grinned. "He always did. See you Saturday!"

She shook her head as she watched her son barrel out of the room, praying he wouldn't get himself lost before the day was out.

* * *

With a heavy heart, James Diamond opened a door leading into the building and held it as a woman came through on her way out. He was randomly reminded of Carlos, his childhood buddy, and rolled his eyes at himself.

_Stop it. You have to stop doing this to yourself._

He'd thought being back home would bring him happiness. He'd thought the memories would return and make him feel alive again in a way he hadn't since moving away five years ago.

The memories had definitely returned, stronger than ever. What James hadn't counted on, though, was that they'd only leave him sad with the knowledge he couldn't relive them. The best years of his life were long gone, no matter how many times his mother promised that following his dreams of being a star would fulfill him.

Kendall had encouraged him in that, too. He'd not confided his deepest wish to anyone else until high school, because nobody here took him seriously. Nobody believed he'd ever amount to anything.

Except Kendall had.

"_I don't think it's dumb, bro. If singing's what you really want to do, do it."_

It sounded so simple when Kendall said it.

"_You don't think it makes me a pansy?"_

"_Not if it makes you happy. Who cares what anyone else thinks?"_

James could still hear the words as if they'd been lying together in the tent just the night before rather than five years ago.

Mom was right. Coming back here _had _been a mistake. There was nothing left for him here, his friends were all gone now.

"Need a hand with that, bro?"

James shook the memories free and turned toward the voice, setting his bags in front of his new room. A tall, lanky guy with dark blond hair was coming his way, and James' heart flipped over. Could this be Kendall all grown up? As he got closer James realized the eyes were wrong, blue rather than the light green that had stared into his own hazel ones so many times in a tent lit only by a flashlight. Still, the dude was hot and giving him a smirk that showed interest. Maybe college wouldn't be so bad after all.

_Tomorrow. _ Tomorrow he'd consider that side of things, and how freeing it would feel to live in a place where his sexuality wouldn't be a problem. For tonight, the memories weren't going to allow him to enjoy anything, so...

"Thanks, I got it."

"You sure? I don't mind."

_No, I'm sure you don't. And tomorrow, I might not mind either._ James offered a flirty smile. "I appreciate it. But I'm good for now."

"Okay. I'm in 5J if you change your mind. Vince."

"James. I'll catch you around."

"Count on it."

After a wink, Vince moved on and out into the sunlight. "Wow," James whispered. He wasn't used to guys being so forward. _Or_ so hot.

_I think I'm gonna be just fine here._

In under thirty seconds James was closed inside 2J, both dreading and welcoming the silence. He was nervous that no matter what the university's stance on gay rights was, his roommates might not be so accepting of it. He'd been bullied enough in school just on the suspicion that he was gay (Weren't all musical theater majors? That seemed to be the consensus among his peers). Flaunting it was still something to avoid, at least until he knew he could trust his dorm mates.

All four beds appeared to be taken, which confused James. Was he in the right room? He glanced at his check-in paperwork again, and yes—his new dwelling was 2J. He hoped there hadn't been a mix-up. The bottom bunk to his left contained a large leather suitcase next to a smaller cloth one, and an overlarge backpack next to that. The bed above that one also housed luggage, and that didn't seem to be unpacked either.

He bent down to pull out one of the cases shoved under the other bottom bunk; that was empty, so at least one of them had unpacked. The remaining top bunk appeared undisturbed, yet James knew it had been claimed by the corner of a portrait he could see stuck to the wall.

"Well, fuck. Now what?"

All James really wanted to do was unpack his shit and then take off to explore the old hangouts before dark. It wasn't much to ask, was it?

For the past hour he'd been trying to talk himself out of going to Kendall's house. He didn't even know if the Knights still lived there, and what would he gain if they did? Mama Knight would probably be welcoming, so there was that. He'd get to hear what Kendall was up to and where he was. Maybe she'd even let him go up to Kendall's old room and sit on the bed where he'd divulged his deepest secrets and cried through his darkest moments.

_Yeah, that's not creepy at all. Get over it, James, he's gone. He's moved on. Found a new best friend to confide in._

Kendall had never admitted it out loud (no matter how many times James had tried to coax it out of him), but James knew he was Kendall's best friend, just as Kendall had been his. He wished now that he'd said the words, because maybe Kendall didn't say it for the same reason he hadn't—the fear that he wasn't Kendall's best friend and it was all in his head.

"What does it even matter now?" he whispered, wishing the memories would go away. He'd embraced them upon landing at the airport, let them all flood back in after years of blocking them out because he missed that part of his life so much, and now suddenly he regretted opening his mind and heart to them.

He needed to get out of here; the room was making him claustrophobic. He set each suitcase on a desk, not caring if it pissed his roommates off because that's what they got for not leaving him a bed. As the second one landed, he thought he heard a thump, as if something had tumbled to the carpet. He glanced around and saw nothing, so shrugged and headed out of the room.

Maybe a walk across the campus would clear his head of the longing for someone who didn't even remember he existed.

* * *

After wolfing down a burger and lukewarm fries in the cafeteria, Kendall decided to check out the hockey building. He ran into the head coach there, and the two of them chatted for awhile about the upcoming season and the team's chances. It was good, as it got Kendall's mind off of everything in the past and reminded him he was here for a reason besides his stupid wild hope that his friends would come back.

He was in better spirits by the time he returned to 2J, at least until he saw that some asshole had knocked his framed picture off the desk. There was a moment of panic when he couldn't find it, then he spied it in the thin space between the desk and the wall. "Well, fuck you too, dickface. It's staying here where it belongs."

Just for that, Kendall hefted the suitcase from the desk and set it on the floor. He noted at least four more spread around the room, which meant he was no longer alone here. Just to be safe, he checked on the picture affixed to his wall; at least that hadn't been disturbed.

A key in the lock had him spinning around, heart in his throat. This was it. He was finally going to meet his first (or perhaps all three) roommate. A shorter, skinny dude stepped inside, hair the color of wet tree bark. The guy didn't look up right away, Kendall getting the feeling that he probably kept his eyes down much of the time.

_Logan used to do that. He's probably shy._

The feet stopped their movement as the guy's gaze took in Kendall's sneakers. Appearing to muster up courage, he lifted his head and Kendall felt a...something...when their eyes met. "Hi, I'm—"

"Kendall!"

Totally unprepared to be tackled with a hug, Kendall fell back against one of the desks. "Whoa, hold on there, I don't—"

"Kendall!" The hug fell away, and big brown eyes stared up at him in wonder. "I was just looking for you, I couldn't find you, I...oh. You don't remember me."

The realization seemed to crush his new roommate. Kendall immediately felt bad. "I'm sorry, I...actually...you do look familiar, but I can't place you. We've met?"

"Yeah, you could say that," the dude chuckled. He leaned in close again, Kendall wondering if another hug was on the way, but instead he reached around Kendall to retrieve the photo. He held it up next to his face. "Still nothing?"

It dropped onto Kendall like a ton of bricks. "Holy shit. Holy _shit_. Logan?!"

"Duh!"

"Oh my god, Logan!" Kendall lifted him off his feet and spun him around in a hug, joy radiating from every pore. "I was just thinking about you, I fucking miss you so much, what the...how...?"

"I got a scholarship!" Logan waited until Kendall put him down to continue. "Any university I wanted to go to. I chose this one."

Kendall still couldn't believe it. "And we just happened to be roommates? You didn't make that happen?"

"No, how could I?! I saw this and I was praying it was you, I found your hockey gear and jerseys and...I went to the rink but you weren't there!"

"I _was _there, but I went to eat first! Holy shit, Logan! Look at you! You...wow."

"Me? Look at_ you_! How's your mom? How's Katie? How are _you_?"

"I'm...amazing. I'm amazing because you're here. This is too weird. Here, let me..." Kendall plucked the frame gently out of Logan's hand, setting it on the desk where he'd originally put it. "Mom's great, Katie's...well, Katie. Logan, what the fuck, I really get to room with you all year? Hang out like we used to? Watch movies and do homework and...get up to crazy antics?"

"Well, I'd rather we cut down on the crazy antics," Logan grimaced. "I've got a scholarship to maintain. But everything else...hell yes. I knew coming back here was a good idea!"

Unable to contain his happiness, Kendall lifted Logan up and spun him again. Neither heard the door open this time, so that when a voice rang out it surprised them both.

"Damn, guess it's no big deal that I'm gay then."

Kendall dropped Logan, who turned to study the newcomer, but before he could get too far into that he was off the floor again and being squeezed to death. "Logan! I can't believe it, I was looking for you, where did you go?!"

"I...Kendall..."

"Kendall?!" Carlos stepped back so suddenly that Logan would've fallen had Kendall not caught him. "You saw Kendall?"

"Yeah, he's...who are...?"

It clicked for Kendall first. "Oh my god. No way. No fucking way. _Carlos_?"

Carlos' jaw fell open. "Kendall? What the...how are you both here?"

Now Logan dragged Carlos around for a better look. "Carlos," he said softly, a hand lifting to touch his face.

"Yep, I'm real. And you're gorgeous. When did _that_ happen?"

Logan's face flushed deep red as he stepped back. "You uh...you're doing okay? Made it through school?"

"I'm here, aren't I? Mom kept me in massive tutoring just so I could graduate, and then she found me a scholarship where all I had to do was be gay and go into criminal justice, which...duh. And I ended up back here!"

"Wait, you're gay, too?" Kendall clarified.

Logan's eyes widened at Kendall. "_Too_? You're gay?"

"Who knew, right?" Kendall chuckled, nervous now. If Logan wasn't okay with him being gay...

"So...hold on a second." Logan was putting it all together. "Not only are we all here in this room, as roommates...but we're all gay, too?"

One of Carlos' brows shot up. "So you're gay? That's..."

"What? Are you judging me?"

"Hello, why would I judge you when I'm gay, too?"

Kendall was still trying to catch up. "How did we all end up in the same room? There's no way that's coincidence."

"It's fate, dude," Carlos shrugged, not bothered by the notion in the slightest. "We belong together. It wasn't fair that we all got dragged apart, so fate's making up for it now."

"No," Kendall murmured, his heart sinking. "If that was true, James would be here, too. No amount of coincidence could make that happen."

They all gasped when a key slid into the lock, turning as one toward the door. They were meeting their final roommate, who Kendall almost felt sorry for because he would be the outcast. He didn't belong with them. He might be the coolest guy in the world, but he wasn't James and nobody could compare.

But at least he had Logan and Carlos, so life would be bearable again.

A tall, muscular body entered the room slowly. Kendall had time to take in long, light brown hair and magnetic hazel eyes that pinned them all into place before the thought crossed his mind that this young man was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen.

"What the fuck?" the guy roared, storming past them to clutch the framed picture to his chest. "Are you assholes seriously going through my shit? It's not enough that you didn't leave me a bed?"

Kendall's mouth dried up. It couldn't be. It just _couldn't_.

But the anger was still coming. "Look, I talked to the staff and they said only four people were assigned this room, so somebody's gotta leave and it's not gonna be me. Then again, do I really want to room with a bunch of assholes who go through my suitcase?"

No one answered him. Instead three shocked faces stared back in silence.

"Fuck you all, then. I don't need this." He tipped over the piece of luggage that Kendall had set on the floor so that he could unzip it, then tried to shove the frame into a pocket that was already full. "Get in there, you little shit," he muttered.

After licking dry lips, Kendall knelt on one knee next to him. "This one's mine," he said softly.

"Fuck you, that's _my _picture. Those are _my_ friends, _my_ childhood. I don't know what your problem is but—"

His words fell away when Kendall reached into the pocket and pulled out a matching photo, right down to the frame. They'd bought them together the same day they'd all been given copies of the picture, James and Kendall walking to the drugstore a half mile from Kendall's house and using money they'd saved up shoveling snow. James stared at the second frame in awe before turning his face to Kendall, and a strangled sound broke free from his throat. "Kendall?"

"Hi," Kendall smiled, true peace stealing over him for the first time in five years. "Are you a famous singer yet?"

James struggled to speak, his chest heaving. "Working on it. Scholarship."

"Yeah," Kendall nodded. "Looks like scholarships brought us all back together."

Carlos called out, "Dude, I'm telling you, it's fate! This is how it's supposed to be!"

James lifted his face to take in the sight of Carlos and Logan, finally understanding who they were. "Holy shit. Is this...am I dreaming?"

Kendall settled onto the floor in a sitting position, dragging James down with him and not moving his arm away but instead leaving it wrapped around James' waist. "If you are, don't ever wake up. I can't lose you again."

He'd meant the words to include all three of his friends, but James seemed to take a deeper meaning from the comment. He leaned in and whispered, "I always knew I was your favorite."

A light shudder moved through Kendall, stealing his breath away, and he laid his head on James' shoulder.

He'd never left, but for the first time in years he felt like he was finally home.

Still keeping his voice low, James added, "I call dibs on whatever bunk you chose. I can sneak into your bed after dark and it'll be like old times."

The way Kendall's body reacted to the idea was nothing at all like old times. Carlos was rambling to Logan about how they all just _had _to get dinner at the old taco place and then swing by the park, Logan staring back at him with a mixture of amusement and affection.

"Still like to cuddle?" Kendall murmured.

"Mmm-hmm."

An arm slid across his back, James' fingers leaving a trail of fire as they skimmed over his shirt. "Turns out three of us are gay," Kendall confided quietly. "Cuddle at your own peril."

"Us? So you're one of the three?"

_Please don't hate me._ "I am. Still want to sit so close to me?"

"I can think of worse things to do than cuddle with a dude," James smirked.

Kendall sat up straighter to look at James. "Wait, you are, too? So...all four of us?"

"I thought you were including me in the three. You're telling me..."

"Yep. Can't be coincidence."

"Can any of this?" James shrugged. "It's fate."

Having caught the end of that, Carlos exclaimed, "I told you guys! This is meant to be!"

Logan rolled his eyes, but Kendall recognized the tiny smile at his lips—as crazy as Carlos could be, Logan would rather be at his side than anywhere else. "Let's head over to the park," he suggested, mostly to make Carlos happy. "Then we can grab tacos before I check out the library."

Carlos made a frustrated noise. "Are you seriously gonna spend our first night back together in the library?! Don't you want to catch up?"

"We'll do that at the park and dinner. I was kind of hoping you'd join me, since I imagine we'll be having nightly study sessions there. But if you'd rather not, I can go alone."

After a moment's silence, Carlos admitted, "You know, I think you're the only person on the planet that could get me in a library. I missed you, dude."

The exuberant hug that followed surprised Logan only for a second; it was all coming back to him now, and he tightened his arms around Carlos.

"A guy down the hall hit on me earlier," James suddenly shared in a soft voice. "I was tempted."

"Oh." The news didn't sit well with Kendall.

"Want to know why?"

"Because he was hot?" Kendall guessed.

"He definitely was," James nodded. "But what I liked most about him is that he reminded me of you."

Kendall's head swung over to meet intense hazel eyes.

James added, "I missed you."

The declaration set all of Kendall's fears to rest. Whatever it was they'd been on the way to five years ago was still there; he wanted to see where it would take them. "I missed you, too. Feel like going to bed early tonight? Once they head to the library?"

James' slow smile was answer enough. Things would definitely be different this time around, but one thing hadn't changed: nothing was better than being with his friends.


End file.
